An Ohio HS football player wrote a poem about his team’s poor performance. It described in detail their OT loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Brent Musburger once said that "quarterbacks get all the girls". If that's the case, my peak was in the second grade during recess.
The Congressional gym was open during the shutdown. Hopefully politicians used it to workout their differences.
The Chiefs-Raiders game set a record for the loudest stadium ever. In fact, Raiders QB Terrelle Pryor couldn't even hear himself not think.
Barbara Sinatra says Mia Farrow’s son Ronan is not Frank Sinatra's son. This is becoming literally the whitest Maury Povich episode ever.
14 bags of pot were found in a 3 year old's backpack at a NY day care. People became suspicious when he drove to Taco Bell for snack time.
Two Russians having sex on train tracks were hit by a train. If her screams are loud enough to not notice a train, you're doing a great job.
Giants DB Prince Amukamara says people call him the Black Tim Tebow. He said this because he's a virgin, doesn't drink, and isn't an NFL caliber quarterback.
There's a new dating website called Twine where pictures can't be uploaded. It should've been called AlexSchubertFinallyHasAChance.com.
Krispy Kreme recently honored "Talk Like A Pirate Day" by giving out free donuts. Here's how it worked: if you talk like a pirate you get a donut, if you dress like one you get a dozen, and if you do neither you walk the plank.
Well guys, that's all for now. Well, big news on the Schub comedy front. I'll be living out one of my comedy dreams on Monday, October 28th. I will be involved in my first ever roast. You see, my friend Jay Armstrong is in a child custody battle with some stupid bitch who cheated on him and wants custody of their daughter. If anybody reads this sumbitch, you'll know to come out to the Thompson House. The tickets aren't cheap ($15), but they will be worth it. The money will be used to help Jay fight this legal battle. Jay (and myself) could use all the support we could get. So I thank you all, and holy fuck this is was a long paragraph.
Showing posts with label Maury. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maury. Show all posts
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Thursday, May 31, 2012
"Five Wives"
A Japanese man cooked his own genitals and served them at a banquet. I can't believe he had the balls to do that.
Jenna Jameson was arrested for DUI. Let me get this straight. A drunk porn star in handcuffs? There is a god!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
"A Jail Visit"
A Phoenix suburb is experimenting with using dog poop as a power source. Of course, they're going to get it from the number one place that it exists: the bottoms of people's shoes.
LeBron James' popularity is at an all time low. To give you an idea of how low it is, even President Obama is laughing at him.
"Celebrity Rehab" star Kari Ann Peniche says she is pregnant and divorcing, with her husband claiming the child isn't his. This has "Maury Povich" written all over it.
Casey Anthony refused a jail visit from her mother. When Casey Anthony doesn't like you as a mother, you're probably doing something wrong.
Research says that people with wide faces are more likely to cheat and lie. And after years of watching Family Guy, they are more likely to want to achieve world domination.
The bikini has turned 65 years old. Hopefully the first one purchased isn't still in use by the same person.
A study says that schools that give report cards about kids' weight made no difference in the problem. In fact, the overweight boys have D's. Oh, and their report cards aren't so hot, either.
Albertson's grocery stores are doing away with their self checkout lines. This would be a bigger news story if they had more than four customers.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
LeBron James' popularity is at an all time low. To give you an idea of how low it is, even President Obama is laughing at him.
"Celebrity Rehab" star Kari Ann Peniche says she is pregnant and divorcing, with her husband claiming the child isn't his. This has "Maury Povich" written all over it.
Casey Anthony refused a jail visit from her mother. When Casey Anthony doesn't like you as a mother, you're probably doing something wrong.
Research says that people with wide faces are more likely to cheat and lie. And after years of watching Family Guy, they are more likely to want to achieve world domination.
The bikini has turned 65 years old. Hopefully the first one purchased isn't still in use by the same person.
A study says that schools that give report cards about kids' weight made no difference in the problem. In fact, the overweight boys have D's. Oh, and their report cards aren't so hot, either.
Albertson's grocery stores are doing away with their self checkout lines. This would be a bigger news story if they had more than four customers.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
"Killing Elephants"
A shipwreck has been found in Lake Michigan. This is not to be mistaken for the city of Detroit, which is a complete trainwreck.
Judge Judy fell ill during a taping of her show and was hospitalized after starting talking gibberish. If you hospitalize people for talking gibberish during a show, someone better inspect the set of Maury Povich.
A town in Ohio has taken the word “Easter” out of its annual egg hunt. Who comes and hides the eggs? The non-denominational man in the bunny suit?
A woman is suing a plastic surgeon because she can’t close her eyes completely following surgery. Someone should enter that chick in a staring contest.
A new website helps college students arrange for casual sex hookups. The website is called "Meetmeontheroof.com".
The CEO of GoDaddy is being criticized for killing elephants. In a related story, Oprah has gone into hiding.
A survey says that 85% of women are annoyed by their Facebook friends. The other 15% of women don't have friends on Spring Break.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Judge Judy fell ill during a taping of her show and was hospitalized after starting talking gibberish. If you hospitalize people for talking gibberish during a show, someone better inspect the set of Maury Povich.
A town in Ohio has taken the word “Easter” out of its annual egg hunt. Who comes and hides the eggs? The non-denominational man in the bunny suit?
A woman is suing a plastic surgeon because she can’t close her eyes completely following surgery. Someone should enter that chick in a staring contest.
A new website helps college students arrange for casual sex hookups. The website is called "Meetmeontheroof.com".
The CEO of GoDaddy is being criticized for killing elephants. In a related story, Oprah has gone into hiding.
A survey says that 85% of women are annoyed by their Facebook friends. The other 15% of women don't have friends on Spring Break.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
"Using An Electric Eel"
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg will be interviewed on “60 Minutes” next Sunday. To give you an idea of Facebook, its online security quality is equivalent to that of WikiLeaks.
A new study says there may be as many as 300 sextillion stars in the night sky. And ironically enough, not one of them is located in Hollywood.
The names that parents choose to give their newborn children reveals information about the parents. For example, the name "Shequanna" indicates that the parents have been on the Maury Povich show. (this is not racist at all, I've seen a lot of baby Shequannas on Maury)
MLB pitcher Jamie Moyer had Tommy John surgery. You know you're getting old when your fastest pitches are 85 miles per hour and your arm still gives out.
An aquarium in Japan is using an electric eel to light its Christmas tree. This kind of news story makes me think of those five magic words: What could possibly go wrong?
The U.S. says its ready to help give financial aid to the EU. That's like hiring Charlie Sheen as your sober coach.
A report says that good looking couples have more daughters. In other words, no matter who my wife is, we are going to have a family full of boys.
A college student in Florida googled his own name and found he was mistakenly wanted for murder. That's peculiar for him. He has nothing better to do but to google his own name?
72 year old Jane Fonda will make her first exercise video in fifteen years. I am already getting visuals that I don't want.
Northern Kentucky has been chosen as the site for a theme park based on Noah’s Ark. "Northern Kentucky" is one of those ironies, like "Comic Book Collector's Girlfriend".
Some hospitals are starting to add Wi-Fi and gourmet meals to attract patients. What do they expect people to do, get hurt on purpose?
The most asked web question in 2010 was how to tie a tie. The second most asked web question: What the hell did Mel Gibson say this time?
That's all I have for right now! More tomorrow!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
"Electric Taxis"
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants big cities to start using electric taxis. How about cleaner taxis?
Medical researchers have figured out a way to turn a person’s skin into blood. It's called a mosquito.
LA Lakers star Kobe Bryant stars in a new TV ad for the video game “Call Of Duty”. You know what the difference is between Kobe and COD players? Kobe has actually had a girlfriend.
A study says good conversation boosts a person’s brain power. You know what this means? Guests on the Maury Povich show are mentally retarded.
Fox has ordered a new show where contestants are given $1 Million and have it slowly taken away. The title of the show: American Stock Market.
Pennsylvania may outlaw cakes, cookies and candy at school birthday parties. And who says Pennsylvania is doing nothing about the educational system?
Filmgoers have been reportedly fainting during the self-amputation scene in the movie “127 Hours”. You know what Jeffrey Dahmer calls this scene? A huge turn-on.
Charlie Sheen brushed aside questions from his latest meltdown, saying “Can’t a guy have one bad night?”. Everyone in America has had the same response: "Just one?".
President Bush says the financial crisis “blindsided” him. I don't think he knows what "blindsided" is. Bush said it "blindsided" him like that Ravens football player.
Doctors say they are close to making STD tests available through cell phones. This sounds a little confusing. I mean, I can barely fit my cell phone charger in the slot.
A study says that working for food makes it taste better. This means that 10% of Americans hate their food.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
Medical researchers have figured out a way to turn a person’s skin into blood. It's called a mosquito.
LA Lakers star Kobe Bryant stars in a new TV ad for the video game “Call Of Duty”. You know what the difference is between Kobe and COD players? Kobe has actually had a girlfriend.
A study says good conversation boosts a person’s brain power. You know what this means? Guests on the Maury Povich show are mentally retarded.
Fox has ordered a new show where contestants are given $1 Million and have it slowly taken away. The title of the show: American Stock Market.
Pennsylvania may outlaw cakes, cookies and candy at school birthday parties. And who says Pennsylvania is doing nothing about the educational system?
Filmgoers have been reportedly fainting during the self-amputation scene in the movie “127 Hours”. You know what Jeffrey Dahmer calls this scene? A huge turn-on.
Charlie Sheen brushed aside questions from his latest meltdown, saying “Can’t a guy have one bad night?”. Everyone in America has had the same response: "Just one?".
President Bush says the financial crisis “blindsided” him. I don't think he knows what "blindsided" is. Bush said it "blindsided" him like that Ravens football player.
Doctors say they are close to making STD tests available through cell phones. This sounds a little confusing. I mean, I can barely fit my cell phone charger in the slot.
A study says that working for food makes it taste better. This means that 10% of Americans hate their food.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
"Taking Tests"
Scientists say a humpback whale traveled more than 6,000 miles, from Brazil to the Indian Ocean, searching for a mate. Unfortunately for the whale, it was a creepy old fat guy who turned out to be a predator.
Oklahoma was rattled by a 5.1 earthquake. In fact, almost everything was destroyed in the middle of nowhere.
A music band blocked the 101 freeway in Los Angeles and performed on top of their truck as part of a publicity stunt. The song they performed: On The Road Again.
New York’s anti-gay Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino once collected rent from two gay clubs located in buildings he owned in downtown Buffalo. Note to self: if a Republican takes a stance against gays, he's gay.
Health officials estimate that 1 in 22 black Americans will be diagnosed with the AIDS virus in their lifetime. These are people I call "guests on the Maury Povich show".
According to a new study, taking tests is better for kids' brains than simply studying. This study was not conducted by schoolkids.
Justin Bieber is reportedly making fun of Tom Brady's hair. To which Brady responded, "Grow a pair and then we'll talk".
That's all I have for today! I wish I could have more, but I don't. More coming tomorrow!
Oklahoma was rattled by a 5.1 earthquake. In fact, almost everything was destroyed in the middle of nowhere.
A music band blocked the 101 freeway in Los Angeles and performed on top of their truck as part of a publicity stunt. The song they performed: On The Road Again.
New York’s anti-gay Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino once collected rent from two gay clubs located in buildings he owned in downtown Buffalo. Note to self: if a Republican takes a stance against gays, he's gay.
Health officials estimate that 1 in 22 black Americans will be diagnosed with the AIDS virus in their lifetime. These are people I call "guests on the Maury Povich show".
According to a new study, taking tests is better for kids' brains than simply studying. This study was not conducted by schoolkids.
Justin Bieber is reportedly making fun of Tom Brady's hair. To which Brady responded, "Grow a pair and then we'll talk".
That's all I have for today! I wish I could have more, but I don't. More coming tomorrow!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
"Eleven Members"
An over-exuberant author threw a copy of their book at President Obama during a recent campaign rally. He picked it up, and he read the title: "Going Rogue".
Teen idol Justin Bieber introduced his new line of nail polish. The name of the nail polish: "Coming out".
A new study found that spending too much time in front of the computer can be psychologically harmful to kids. This must explain me.
So far this season, eleven members of the Georgia Bulldogs football team have been arrested. Upon hearing the news, the Cincinnati Bengals have sent scouts.
The NFL is investigating allegations that Brett Favre sent racy images to a woman while playing for the NY Jets. And you thought the balls he dropped were ON the field.
A report says that college dropouts are costing U.S. taxpayers billions of dollars. Half of that money is going to children they have from one-night stands.
Wall Street is overwhelmingly supporting Republicans in the upcoming election. I wonder why...
The mid term Congressional elections are on track to be the costliest ever. Hey, let's use some of that money to help the national debt.
Researchers say that prehistoric fish had sex for fun. Hopefully there was a fish back then named "Maury".
Three economists are sharing the Nobel Prize for their theory about the job market. I could get the Nobel Prize for my two-word theory on the job market: It sucks.
A survey says 50% of Wall Street executives expect to receive a higher bonus than they did last year. Because if anybody needs a raise, it's those Wall Street executives.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Teen idol Justin Bieber introduced his new line of nail polish. The name of the nail polish: "Coming out".
A new study found that spending too much time in front of the computer can be psychologically harmful to kids. This must explain me.
So far this season, eleven members of the Georgia Bulldogs football team have been arrested. Upon hearing the news, the Cincinnati Bengals have sent scouts.
The NFL is investigating allegations that Brett Favre sent racy images to a woman while playing for the NY Jets. And you thought the balls he dropped were ON the field.
A report says that college dropouts are costing U.S. taxpayers billions of dollars. Half of that money is going to children they have from one-night stands.
Wall Street is overwhelmingly supporting Republicans in the upcoming election. I wonder why...
The mid term Congressional elections are on track to be the costliest ever. Hey, let's use some of that money to help the national debt.
Researchers say that prehistoric fish had sex for fun. Hopefully there was a fish back then named "Maury".
Three economists are sharing the Nobel Prize for their theory about the job market. I could get the Nobel Prize for my two-word theory on the job market: It sucks.
A survey says 50% of Wall Street executives expect to receive a higher bonus than they did last year. Because if anybody needs a raise, it's those Wall Street executives.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
"Entirely In Klingon"
President Clinton says that anger, apathy and amnesia could hurt the Democrats in November. In his defense, they've already hurt the Republicans.
The FAA is proposing rules changes to cut down on pilot fatigue. What else do they need? They already have naptime throughout the whole flight.
The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics says that college students spend about 48 minutes a day grooming. You know America is getting fat as a country when grooming is considered labor.
A study says that seniors who have a firm grip and walk at a fast pace tend to live longer than those who don’t. That is, a firm grip on life and a fast-paced walk away from death.
An opera that is written entirely in Klingon has made its debut in Europe. Italian nerds could not be happier.
Patrick Swayze’s wife says she still sends him text messages even though he died a year ago. What's really weird about all this: she gets responses.
Angelina Jolie says she does not have a lot of friends. Without benefits.
The Russian authorities fired a top local official Saturday after a video showed him forcing children to kiss his feet in a grueling series of push-ups while on a visit to a school. Who is this guy, a priest?
China on Saturday launched a measles vaccination program targeting 100 million children in a bid to eradicate the disease. Chinese officials said that they hope this will get them back to work very soon.
Eating champion Joey Chestnut set a new record by eating 47 burritos in ten minutes. He also set a new record for most toilets clogged.
A Paris man who registered 55 children by 55 different mothers faces up to 10 years in jail and fines for suspected paternity fraud. Gosh, where's Maury Povich when you need him?
A Georgia couple is suing a grocery store chain in federal court, claiming that the husband found a used tampon in his bowl of cereal. As proof, the man said that his milk kept disappearing.
Officials in a western Pennsylvania school district are apologizing after they say students at a local high school were accidentally shown pornographic pictures during a school assembly. Things got weirder when a teacher and a student simultaneously said, "Hey! That's me!".
Football club songs and pop or rock music have been banned from funerals in Catholic churches in Australia. This decision was made after a funeral director played "Another One Bites The Dust".
That's all I have for right now! More coming soon!
The FAA is proposing rules changes to cut down on pilot fatigue. What else do they need? They already have naptime throughout the whole flight.
The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics says that college students spend about 48 minutes a day grooming. You know America is getting fat as a country when grooming is considered labor.
A study says that seniors who have a firm grip and walk at a fast pace tend to live longer than those who don’t. That is, a firm grip on life and a fast-paced walk away from death.
An opera that is written entirely in Klingon has made its debut in Europe. Italian nerds could not be happier.
Patrick Swayze’s wife says she still sends him text messages even though he died a year ago. What's really weird about all this: she gets responses.
Angelina Jolie says she does not have a lot of friends. Without benefits.
The Russian authorities fired a top local official Saturday after a video showed him forcing children to kiss his feet in a grueling series of push-ups while on a visit to a school. Who is this guy, a priest?
China on Saturday launched a measles vaccination program targeting 100 million children in a bid to eradicate the disease. Chinese officials said that they hope this will get them back to work very soon.
Eating champion Joey Chestnut set a new record by eating 47 burritos in ten minutes. He also set a new record for most toilets clogged.
A Paris man who registered 55 children by 55 different mothers faces up to 10 years in jail and fines for suspected paternity fraud. Gosh, where's Maury Povich when you need him?
A Georgia couple is suing a grocery store chain in federal court, claiming that the husband found a used tampon in his bowl of cereal. As proof, the man said that his milk kept disappearing.
Officials in a western Pennsylvania school district are apologizing after they say students at a local high school were accidentally shown pornographic pictures during a school assembly. Things got weirder when a teacher and a student simultaneously said, "Hey! That's me!".
Football club songs and pop or rock music have been banned from funerals in Catholic churches in Australia. This decision was made after a funeral director played "Another One Bites The Dust".
That's all I have for right now! More coming soon!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
"A High School Prom"
Holy crap! Today's my birthday! You don't have to worry about sending me birthday wishes. Both of my friends will take care of that. Anyway, here are today's jokes!
In an interview with People magazine, Elin Nordegren says she never hit Tiger Woods with a golf club and had no idea he was cheating on her. That sounds like an interview you would see on Maury.
Heidi Montag now says she wants her old D-cup implants back because her G-cups make it impossible to hug her four dogs. The number is down from five, as she divorced Spencer.
Alan Simpson, co-chair of President Obama's deficit commission, is in hot water for referring to Social Security as “a milk cow with 310 million tits.” He made a huge mistake. He actually intended to refer to Rush Limbaugh.
A woman on probation in Pennsylvania who failed a blood-alcohol test blamed it on gin-soaked raisins, an old folk remedy for arthritis. The police officer said, "You have one of two options. You could go to jail or you could walk all the way home".
Arizona Senator John McCain clinched the GOP nomination in the state’s primary election on Tuesday. At least there's one election where McCain doesn't have to choose Sarah Palin as his running mate.
Tiger Woods’ ex-wife Elin Nordegren told People magazine that she “has been through hell”. Yes, even though he cheated on you, it wasn't hell. You're a Swedish supermodel married to a billionaire golfer.
Golfer Tiger Woods says his divorce is a sad time in his life. At least now, it's okay for him to sleep with other women.
Former NBA star Dennis Rodman told a reporter he’d had sex with 2,000 women. Now we know why he's the all-time leader in rebounds.
A study says the average teenager sends 3,000 text messages each month, which is an average of 100 per day. Who knew teens spend that much time driving?
A survey says that a lack of skilled workers threatens the global economic recovery. This is a message that Wall Street should take to heart.
California has traced the salmonella infections back to a high school prom in Santa Clara. Who knew salmonella was an STD?
A Detroit Lions fan walked 400 miles to attend a preseason game to bring his team luck. The whole Lions organization was shocked. The Detroit Lions have somebody who believes in them?
That's all for today!
In an interview with People magazine, Elin Nordegren says she never hit Tiger Woods with a golf club and had no idea he was cheating on her. That sounds like an interview you would see on Maury.
Heidi Montag now says she wants her old D-cup implants back because her G-cups make it impossible to hug her four dogs. The number is down from five, as she divorced Spencer.
Alan Simpson, co-chair of President Obama's deficit commission, is in hot water for referring to Social Security as “a milk cow with 310 million tits.” He made a huge mistake. He actually intended to refer to Rush Limbaugh.
A woman on probation in Pennsylvania who failed a blood-alcohol test blamed it on gin-soaked raisins, an old folk remedy for arthritis. The police officer said, "You have one of two options. You could go to jail or you could walk all the way home".
Arizona Senator John McCain clinched the GOP nomination in the state’s primary election on Tuesday. At least there's one election where McCain doesn't have to choose Sarah Palin as his running mate.
Tiger Woods’ ex-wife Elin Nordegren told People magazine that she “has been through hell”. Yes, even though he cheated on you, it wasn't hell. You're a Swedish supermodel married to a billionaire golfer.
Golfer Tiger Woods says his divorce is a sad time in his life. At least now, it's okay for him to sleep with other women.
Former NBA star Dennis Rodman told a reporter he’d had sex with 2,000 women. Now we know why he's the all-time leader in rebounds.
A study says the average teenager sends 3,000 text messages each month, which is an average of 100 per day. Who knew teens spend that much time driving?
A survey says that a lack of skilled workers threatens the global economic recovery. This is a message that Wall Street should take to heart.
California has traced the salmonella infections back to a high school prom in Santa Clara. Who knew salmonella was an STD?
A Detroit Lions fan walked 400 miles to attend a preseason game to bring his team luck. The whole Lions organization was shocked. The Detroit Lions have somebody who believes in them?
That's all for today!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
"The Cause Of Earthquakes"
Joke of the Day: A senior Iranian cleric says women who dress scantily and who have adulterous sex are the cause of earthquakes. In that case, why is Maury Povich's studio still intact?
US and Iraqi officials say they killed al-Qaida’s top two officials in air and ground assaults. And yet, still no word on Osama bin Laden.
The best-selling relationship book, “Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus”, will soon be on the big screen. The tagline: "Either way, they come from my... you know."
Twenty Nepali climbers are on a mission to clean up the area on Mt. Everest known as the “death zone”. Which is strange, because I thought Los Angeles was in California.
A set of quadruplets from New York have all chosen to attend the same college. In a related story, Kate Gosselin has just been inspired.
A suburban school district secretly captured at least 56,000 webcam photographs and screen shots from laptops issued to high school students, And those were just in the showers.
Returning from Mexico, Michelle Obama made a brief stop Thursday in San Diego to visit a community garden farmed by international refugees. She is calling this journey, "A day in the life of an illegal Mexican immigrant".
A gene variant that may help protect memory and thinking skills in elderly people has been identified by U.S. researchers. It's called a notepad.
A new study has found that almost six out of 10 child-care centers in Wisconsin send home children who have minor illnesses. That means that six out of 10 child-care centers in Wisconsin have really good liars.
High school students attending a prom in Oklahoma say they watched as a repo man drove away a limousine they had rented. At least one person said they thought the limo was being stolen. It was a repo man, so that person was right.
A new study says that one third of U.S. teenagers with cell phones send more than 100 texts per day. The same study has found that 99 of these texts were gramatically incorrect.
Jay Leno says he knew that Conan O'Brien would land on his feet. That's weird. Conan usually says he lands on his hair.
A 9 year old boy in Georgia is raising money for his own heart surgery by selling manuscripts of his life online. A 9-year old selling his life story? And you thought the book called "Jewish Sports Legends" was short.
A study says that tanning is as addictive as drinking, with one third of all college students hooked. To both tanning and drinking.
A study says that people grow to dislike diet foods after a period of time. Actually, these people just try diet food once and they hate it.
Joe Biden is set to make an appearance on "The View". And you thought the panel for The View never shuts up.
A U.N. report says that India has more cell phones than toilets. Conveniently enough, the US has exactly as many cell phones as they do cars.
GM is teaming up with a Detroit church to try to sell more cars. That's right, America. GM needs a prayer to get their cars on the road.
Bill Clinton says the world sees too much infighting in the U.S. And his marriage.
That's all for right now! More upcoming!
US and Iraqi officials say they killed al-Qaida’s top two officials in air and ground assaults. And yet, still no word on Osama bin Laden.
The best-selling relationship book, “Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus”, will soon be on the big screen. The tagline: "Either way, they come from my... you know."
Twenty Nepali climbers are on a mission to clean up the area on Mt. Everest known as the “death zone”. Which is strange, because I thought Los Angeles was in California.
A set of quadruplets from New York have all chosen to attend the same college. In a related story, Kate Gosselin has just been inspired.
A suburban school district secretly captured at least 56,000 webcam photographs and screen shots from laptops issued to high school students, And those were just in the showers.
Returning from Mexico, Michelle Obama made a brief stop Thursday in San Diego to visit a community garden farmed by international refugees. She is calling this journey, "A day in the life of an illegal Mexican immigrant".
A gene variant that may help protect memory and thinking skills in elderly people has been identified by U.S. researchers. It's called a notepad.
A new study has found that almost six out of 10 child-care centers in Wisconsin send home children who have minor illnesses. That means that six out of 10 child-care centers in Wisconsin have really good liars.
High school students attending a prom in Oklahoma say they watched as a repo man drove away a limousine they had rented. At least one person said they thought the limo was being stolen. It was a repo man, so that person was right.
A new study says that one third of U.S. teenagers with cell phones send more than 100 texts per day. The same study has found that 99 of these texts were gramatically incorrect.
Jay Leno says he knew that Conan O'Brien would land on his feet. That's weird. Conan usually says he lands on his hair.
A 9 year old boy in Georgia is raising money for his own heart surgery by selling manuscripts of his life online. A 9-year old selling his life story? And you thought the book called "Jewish Sports Legends" was short.
A study says that tanning is as addictive as drinking, with one third of all college students hooked. To both tanning and drinking.
A study says that people grow to dislike diet foods after a period of time. Actually, these people just try diet food once and they hate it.
Joe Biden is set to make an appearance on "The View". And you thought the panel for The View never shuts up.
A U.N. report says that India has more cell phones than toilets. Conveniently enough, the US has exactly as many cell phones as they do cars.
GM is teaming up with a Detroit church to try to sell more cars. That's right, America. GM needs a prayer to get their cars on the road.
Bill Clinton says the world sees too much infighting in the U.S. And his marriage.
That's all for right now! More upcoming!
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