"Five Wives"

A Japanese man cooked his own genitals and served them at a banquet. I can't believe he had the balls to do that.

Jenna Jameson was arrested for DUI. Let me get this straight. A drunk porn star in handcuffs? There is a god!

A Tennessee man, Desmond Hatchett, has fathered 30 children with 11 different women.  Does this guy have Maury Povich on speed dial?


Tonight is the National Spelling Bee.  The winner will more than likely get a red dot on their forehead.


Justin Bieber reportedly assaulted a member of the paparazzi.  If I were Justin Bieber, I would punch myself in the face.


A three-year old boy was kicked off an Alaska Airlines flight.  As a person who gets on airplanes sometimes, I hope to God this catches on.


“Five Wives” Vodka is being criticized for being offensive to Mormons.  And Mitt Romney isn't?


A Michigan woman who was abducted, shot and set on fire has given birth to a baby boy.  She named it "Johnny Knoxville".

The IRS says that 1 in 189 high income earners paid no income tax in 2009.  Ironically, they all endorsed Mitt Romney.


An explosion in Kenya that injured 33 people is being blamed on a “bearded man”.  Who knew the Amish could cause explosions?


The War in Afghanistan has severely limited tourism in that country, according to the government.  But let's be honest, here.  What is there to see in Afghanistan besides deserts and batshit crazy people?


A study says that saturated fat hurts people’s brain function.  This means that Oprah Winfrey is mentally retarded.


That's all I have for today!  More coming later!