Casey Anthony will be released from prison on July 13. She is being released on accounts of previous time served, good behavior, and huge tits.
ABC Television says its soap opera “All My Children” may continue its storyline on the Internet. Considering the title, I hope Casey Anthony isn't scheduled for a cameo.
The U.N. says that going green will cost the world $76 Trillion over the next 40 years. And that's just in TV advertisements.
Photos of a Sinead O’Connor comeback concert have been released. Soon after that, she went on SNL and ripped them in half.
“Harry Potter” series star Tom Felton admits none of the cast were chosen for their acting skills. I think we figured that out after the second movie.
A juror in the Casey Anthony case says the jury was sick to their stomach with the verdict. And by "jury", they mean "world".
Experts say that Casey Anthony has become comfortable with lying. Mainly because it worked for her.
That's all I have for today! Sorry about all the Casey Anthony jokes. There's just a lot of material available in regards to that lying whore. Anyway, more tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Harry Potter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Harry Potter. Show all posts
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Saturday, November 27, 2010
"Quidditch Lingerie"
English turkey tycoon Bernard Matthews died on Thanksgiving Day at age 80. That's like Santa Claus dying on Christmas.
A Florida man was killed on a golf course after being hit by a golf ball. His last words were "Four what?".
Jobless flight attendants in Mexico are getting attention after posing for a sexy calendar. The calendar was called, "Twelve months of going through the TSA".
Doctors are warning of the dangers of possible infections spread during TSA patdowns. Didn't they used to be called "STDs"?
A Florida lesbian resort is welcoming men guests because of the bad economy. In fact, every single male guest that went to that resort had a video camera.
A Spanish woman claims to own the sun and says she will charge everyone for its use. What's she going to do if nobody pays? Is she going to just take it away?
A Michigan man will stand trial in the sodomy of his pet pit bull. And Michael Vick was doing so well.
A survey says that 9 in 10 students admit to texting while in class. The other student does not own a cell phone.
Apple has put a stop to a company making dolls in the likeness of Steve Jobs. Mainly because they haven't come out with a newer doll of him in three months.
Fran Drescher says she is considering a run for Congress. Who knew Congress could get more annoying?
An Australian entrepreneur has developed odor trapping underwear. Isn't that called a diaper?
Warner Brothers is trademarking "Quidditch lingerie". To which most Harry Potter watchers ask, "What's lingerie?".
Reports are saying that a San Diego drug tunnel had a railcar and tons of pot. It bore a striking resemblance to Willie Nelson's tour bus.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
A Florida man was killed on a golf course after being hit by a golf ball. His last words were "Four what?".
Jobless flight attendants in Mexico are getting attention after posing for a sexy calendar. The calendar was called, "Twelve months of going through the TSA".
Doctors are warning of the dangers of possible infections spread during TSA patdowns. Didn't they used to be called "STDs"?
A Florida lesbian resort is welcoming men guests because of the bad economy. In fact, every single male guest that went to that resort had a video camera.
A Spanish woman claims to own the sun and says she will charge everyone for its use. What's she going to do if nobody pays? Is she going to just take it away?
A Michigan man will stand trial in the sodomy of his pet pit bull. And Michael Vick was doing so well.
A survey says that 9 in 10 students admit to texting while in class. The other student does not own a cell phone.
Apple has put a stop to a company making dolls in the likeness of Steve Jobs. Mainly because they haven't come out with a newer doll of him in three months.
Fran Drescher says she is considering a run for Congress. Who knew Congress could get more annoying?
An Australian entrepreneur has developed odor trapping underwear. Isn't that called a diaper?
Warner Brothers is trademarking "Quidditch lingerie". To which most Harry Potter watchers ask, "What's lingerie?".
Reports are saying that a San Diego drug tunnel had a railcar and tons of pot. It bore a striking resemblance to Willie Nelson's tour bus.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Monday, November 15, 2010
"Hidden In Her Bra"
A new survey says “spillcam” and “vuvuzela” are the top words for 2010. While we're talking about the list of things that annoy the hell out of us, why not say "Alex Schubert".
Kirk Gibson’s 1988 World Series home run bat sold at auction for $575,000. The reason it's so valuable is because it was the last chance that the Dodgers ever had to make the postseason.
A Maryland politician and his wife were caught with $80,000 hidden in her bra. That's absurd. A politician with his own wife?
200 students at the University of Central Florida have admitted to cheating on a test. These people are called "athletes".
A search is on for a missing 92 year old hiker in a New York park. Did anybody check the cemetery?
The Quidditch World Cup was held in New York City over the weekend. The Quidditch World Cup is proof that you can be a winner and a loser at the same time.
A peer-reviewed study suggests that humans may have predictive powers. These people are called "weathermen".
Facebook is launching a new e-mail service. The catch: you can only use it to contact people you barely remember from high school.
President Bush is being accused of lifting material for his autobiography “Decision Points” from other sources. I agree with these accusations. We all know President Bush can't write to save his own life.
The Mayor of Oklahoma City has rejected a proposal to have a Lingerie Football League team play in the city. In a related story, his popularity rating has shot down 60%.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
Kirk Gibson’s 1988 World Series home run bat sold at auction for $575,000. The reason it's so valuable is because it was the last chance that the Dodgers ever had to make the postseason.
A Maryland politician and his wife were caught with $80,000 hidden in her bra. That's absurd. A politician with his own wife?
200 students at the University of Central Florida have admitted to cheating on a test. These people are called "athletes".
A search is on for a missing 92 year old hiker in a New York park. Did anybody check the cemetery?
The Quidditch World Cup was held in New York City over the weekend. The Quidditch World Cup is proof that you can be a winner and a loser at the same time.
A peer-reviewed study suggests that humans may have predictive powers. These people are called "weathermen".
Facebook is launching a new e-mail service. The catch: you can only use it to contact people you barely remember from high school.
President Bush is being accused of lifting material for his autobiography “Decision Points” from other sources. I agree with these accusations. We all know President Bush can't write to save his own life.
The Mayor of Oklahoma City has rejected a proposal to have a Lingerie Football League team play in the city. In a related story, his popularity rating has shot down 60%.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
Friday, March 26, 2010
"Animals Over Men"
A new survey from an online Harris Poll says that 24% of Republicans think Pres. Obama may be the antichrist. The other 76% think he's the President.
Urologists say that since vasectomies require men to sit for long periods of time to recover, March Madness gives patients a great excuse to watch games. In a related story, President Obama is no longer able to have children.
Utah police say a man accused of stealing two phones from a convenience store was arrested when he flagged down the investigating officer and asked for directions. It wasn't very hard to catch the man since the directions were, "Drive about one mile, take a right, and the jail should be the second building on your left".
Director Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood," starring Russell Crowe in the role of the famed outlaw, will open the Cannes Film Festival on May 12. Wait, if Russell Crowe plays the famed outlaw, who's going to play Robin Hood?
The Washington State Patrol says former "American Idol" star Sanjaya Malakar was caught speeding 110 mph on Interstate 405 outside of Seattle at Kirkland. Apparently Sanjaya still thinks he's on "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here".
The Washington State Patrol says former "American Idol" star Sanjaya Malakar was caught speeding 110 mph on Interstate 405 outside of Seattle at Kirkland. Since he's Sanjaya, police recommended that he keep his Toyota.
Rumors that Octomom Nadya Suleman may do porn have been shot down, and she wants to advertise for PETA because she prefers "Animals over men". And men across the country prefer animals over Nadya.
On June 18, the public can step into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the much-anticipated new attraction inside Universal Orlando's Islands of Adventure park. It's nothing much really. The only ride includes a broomstick and a zipline.
115 countries around the world will go dark for an hour on March 27th to commemorate Earth Hour. The US, on the other hand, plans to give Twitter updates on how Earth Hour is going for them.
A study says that busy hospitals have lower death rates. That's because a busy hospital means doctors that actually do work.
That's it for now! More later!
Urologists say that since vasectomies require men to sit for long periods of time to recover, March Madness gives patients a great excuse to watch games. In a related story, President Obama is no longer able to have children.
Utah police say a man accused of stealing two phones from a convenience store was arrested when he flagged down the investigating officer and asked for directions. It wasn't very hard to catch the man since the directions were, "Drive about one mile, take a right, and the jail should be the second building on your left".
Director Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood," starring Russell Crowe in the role of the famed outlaw, will open the Cannes Film Festival on May 12. Wait, if Russell Crowe plays the famed outlaw, who's going to play Robin Hood?
The Washington State Patrol says former "American Idol" star Sanjaya Malakar was caught speeding 110 mph on Interstate 405 outside of Seattle at Kirkland. Apparently Sanjaya still thinks he's on "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here".
The Washington State Patrol says former "American Idol" star Sanjaya Malakar was caught speeding 110 mph on Interstate 405 outside of Seattle at Kirkland. Since he's Sanjaya, police recommended that he keep his Toyota.
Rumors that Octomom Nadya Suleman may do porn have been shot down, and she wants to advertise for PETA because she prefers "Animals over men". And men across the country prefer animals over Nadya.
On June 18, the public can step into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the much-anticipated new attraction inside Universal Orlando's Islands of Adventure park. It's nothing much really. The only ride includes a broomstick and a zipline.
115 countries around the world will go dark for an hour on March 27th to commemorate Earth Hour. The US, on the other hand, plans to give Twitter updates on how Earth Hour is going for them.
A study says that busy hospitals have lower death rates. That's because a busy hospital means doctors that actually do work.
That's it for now! More later!
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