Joe Biden, John Boehner, and Ohio Governor John Kasich will play a round of golf together. Three men of power, one Democrat, two Republicans, a guy who never shuts up, a guy who won't stop crying, and a former Wall Street worker, are all hanging out with golf clubs in their hands. I think I speak for all Americans when I say, "What could possibly go wrong?".
June 13 is the Olsen twins' birthday. Fittingly, there will be no birthday cake.
Singer Selena Gomez was rushed to a hospital with nausea following an appearance on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”. She became nauseous when she realized that she's dating Justin Bieber.
Mike Tyson and Sylvester Stallone were inducted into the International Boxing Hall of Fame. They were also permanently banned from the International Public Speaking Hall of Fame.
Harrison Frazar won his first PGA Tour title in his 355th tournament attempt. And that was on the video game.
Now that Osama bin Laden is dead, who is the most hated man in America? Well, I think it's the guy who showed Anthony Weiner how to use a camera.
Rapper Fat Joe recently lost 88 pounds. Now, his friends call him "Joe".
A poll rates Americans as the funniest people in the world, with Germans the least funny. And conveniently enough, my ancestors came from Germany.
The Federal Reserve wants more banks to divulge their finances. If only banks had finances to begin with.
3-D images reveal how the brain loses consciousness. To be fair, though, it's just a Polaroid picture of a beer bottle.
Well, that's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Sylvester Stallone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sylvester Stallone. Show all posts
Monday, June 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
"Rehab At Home"
February is National Time Management Month. Okay, I'll see if I can fit it into my schedule.
South Sudan is set to secede with a 99.57% voter approval. Even worse, the votes were by citizens of North Sudan.
Charlie Sheen is going to do his rehab at home. Unfortunately for Charlie, Jon Cryer moved in with his son and won't leave.
A mountain climber barely survived a 1000-foot tumble off a Scottish mountain. I haven't seen something fall like that since Charlie Sheen's career.
A city in England has become the first "Dark Sky" city, which is a city with very little light. The city is more dark than Dick Cheney's dungeon.
A Dallas teenager was fined $637 because she was swearing in a classroom. If you want to hear more cursing in Dallas, stay tuned for tailgating at Cowboy Stadium before the Super Bowl.
House Speaker John Boehner says he is willing to play golf with President Obama. Yeah, great idea. Put a Democrat and a Republican together, and give them both golf clubs. That's gonna end well.
A study says that heart attacks increase in cities whose team loses the Super Bowl. In a related story, the death rate in Green Bay is expected to jump 47%.
The Internet is running out of new addresses. Of course, if porn is outlawed, there would be enough addresses for the rest of eternity.
A study indicates four seconds of silence is enough to turn a conversation really awkward. In that case, "The View" is the least awkward place in the world.
The government is advising people wanting to lose weight to eat less. Who would have thought that...
A gorilla in England walks erect on its legs just like a person. In fact, an American went to England and mistook it for Sylvester Stallone.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
South Sudan is set to secede with a 99.57% voter approval. Even worse, the votes were by citizens of North Sudan.
Charlie Sheen is going to do his rehab at home. Unfortunately for Charlie, Jon Cryer moved in with his son and won't leave.
A mountain climber barely survived a 1000-foot tumble off a Scottish mountain. I haven't seen something fall like that since Charlie Sheen's career.
A city in England has become the first "Dark Sky" city, which is a city with very little light. The city is more dark than Dick Cheney's dungeon.
A Dallas teenager was fined $637 because she was swearing in a classroom. If you want to hear more cursing in Dallas, stay tuned for tailgating at Cowboy Stadium before the Super Bowl.
House Speaker John Boehner says he is willing to play golf with President Obama. Yeah, great idea. Put a Democrat and a Republican together, and give them both golf clubs. That's gonna end well.
A study says that heart attacks increase in cities whose team loses the Super Bowl. In a related story, the death rate in Green Bay is expected to jump 47%.
The Internet is running out of new addresses. Of course, if porn is outlawed, there would be enough addresses for the rest of eternity.
A study indicates four seconds of silence is enough to turn a conversation really awkward. In that case, "The View" is the least awkward place in the world.
The government is advising people wanting to lose weight to eat less. Who would have thought that...
A gorilla in England walks erect on its legs just like a person. In fact, an American went to England and mistook it for Sylvester Stallone.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
"Giving Shoes"
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is in a British jail. You know Americans can't control things when the most hated man in America is arrested by the British.
The New York Yankees’ Derek Jeter is angry at the way his $51 million contract deal came down. As a matter of fact, Jeter was so angry that he tried to throw a baseball at GM Brian Cashman. Of course, it sailed five feet over his head.
Sylvester Stallone had been elected to the International Boxing Hall of Fame. It's marks the first time in history that an English speaking man has ever needed a translator.
U.S. teens are ranked 25th globally in math. Even worse, there were only 24 ranks.
The U.S. will host the World Press Freedom Day in 2011. News reporters have been banned from the event.
A study says that coffee and donuts can give the brain a boost. In that case, why is America's educational system so bad?
Barefoot singer Michael Franti is performing concerts with the goal of giving shoes to the needy around the world. That's like the singer for Barenaked Ladies holding a clothes drive.
That's all I have for today! Sorry, I am really tired. More tomorrow
The New York Yankees’ Derek Jeter is angry at the way his $51 million contract deal came down. As a matter of fact, Jeter was so angry that he tried to throw a baseball at GM Brian Cashman. Of course, it sailed five feet over his head.
Sylvester Stallone had been elected to the International Boxing Hall of Fame. It's marks the first time in history that an English speaking man has ever needed a translator.
U.S. teens are ranked 25th globally in math. Even worse, there were only 24 ranks.
The U.S. will host the World Press Freedom Day in 2011. News reporters have been banned from the event.
A study says that coffee and donuts can give the brain a boost. In that case, why is America's educational system so bad?
Barefoot singer Michael Franti is performing concerts with the goal of giving shoes to the needy around the world. That's like the singer for Barenaked Ladies holding a clothes drive.
That's all I have for today! Sorry, I am really tired. More tomorrow
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