CNN reporter Drew Griffin was put on a TSA watch list after a report that was critical of the agency. In that case, shouldn't everybody in America be put on their watch list?
Charles Manson was reportedly caught with a cell phone hidden in his prison mattress. Why does he need a cell phone? I mean, this guy doesn't have any friends to text.
Hillary Clinton says that Secretary of State will be her last public job. I think I speak for the rest of America when I say, thank you Mrs. Clinton.
A Canadian man was arrested after killing his father with a crossbow in a library. There were no witnesses, because, of course, nobody goes to the library anymore.
BP says the U.S. estimate for the Gulf oil spill was 20-50% too high. Try telling that to all the dead fish!
A study says the odds are one out of seven that someone else will have your Social Security Number. Oh, come on, who would want to be me?
Mel Gibson’s movie “The Beaver” has been delayed for release until Spring 2011. And we all know what happens when we give Mel Gibson some free time...
A 106 year old German man has quit smoking out of love for his wife. I'm proud of him. Now, he's got so many healthy years ahead of him.
Senator Harry Reid is pushing a bill that would allow online gambling. With the nation trillions of dollars in debt, what better for Americans to do than to risk all their money online?
A survey says that younger, less educated people got the most jobs since September. Who knew Waffle House was hiring?
A study says that brain damage can create false memories. You know, this reminds me of the time I actually had a girlfriend.
That's all I have for today! More coming tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Waffle House. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Waffle House. Show all posts
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
"Locks For Honda"
Joke of the Day: British Petroleum executives gave a pep talk to cleanup workers in Louisiana. You know you are bad cleaners when even BP gives you a pep talk about cleaning up.
Workers at a factory in China that makes locks for Honda cars are on strike. They will either be punished by a pay cut or a time-out.
A California couple was married at a Home Depot where they work. They also had the wedding reception at a local Waffle House.
The weight loss industry in China is a growing business. This is the first time that "Weight loss" and "Growing" have been used in the same sentence.
A study says that extroverted men and neurotic, anxious, needy, depressed women make more babies. That ought to be a happy couple.
An 87-year-old San Antonio man is attempting to break his age group record in the pole vault. However, I'm not even sure that 1 foot and 2 inches is much of a challenge.
Police are searching for a burglar who stole a box of cookies from a north Florida discount store. The burglar is expected to be between the ages of 4 and 7.
That's all for today! More upcoming tomorrow!
Workers at a factory in China that makes locks for Honda cars are on strike. They will either be punished by a pay cut or a time-out.
A California couple was married at a Home Depot where they work. They also had the wedding reception at a local Waffle House.
The weight loss industry in China is a growing business. This is the first time that "Weight loss" and "Growing" have been used in the same sentence.
A study says that extroverted men and neurotic, anxious, needy, depressed women make more babies. That ought to be a happy couple.
An 87-year-old San Antonio man is attempting to break his age group record in the pole vault. However, I'm not even sure that 1 foot and 2 inches is much of a challenge.
Police are searching for a burglar who stole a box of cookies from a north Florida discount store. The burglar is expected to be between the ages of 4 and 7.
That's all for today! More upcoming tomorrow!
Friday, June 4, 2010
"Eat Pray Love"
Joke of the Day: The CEO of British Petroleum says "We will be here for a very long time." Little did most Americans know he was talking about the break room.
Congress took a 10-day break without funding summer youth programs, just as school is letting out for the summer. Or, as Congress calls it, "business as usual".
The federal government sent BP a bill for $69 million for costs they incurred in cleaning up the Gulf oil spill. Getting paid $69 million for something unsuccessful? BP could play for the New York Mets.
The new film “Eat Pray Love” has been given an MPAA rating of PG-13, a downgrade from the R it originally received. Eat Pray Love? That sounds like what Tiger Woods' memoir would be if he was fat.
Many people inside baseball are labeling umpire Jim Joyce’s botched final out call that cost a Detroit pitcher a perfect game “the worst call in the history of baseball”. Besides, of course, letting Jim Joyce umpire that game.
A Waffle House employee has survived without serious injury after three teens took off without paying and he clung to the hood of their car. Because if you can survive working at Waffle House, you can survive anything.
A new report shows one in five high school students have taken a prescription drug that they didn't get from a doctor. The other four can't afford to see a doctor.
Gary Coleman's parents are seeking custody of his remains. In fact, they have already picked out the water bottle that they will store them in.
The toxic metal cadmium was discovered in a McDonald’s drinking glass. One thing's for sure: it's less toxic than the McDonald's soft drinks themselves.
President Bush says that he would waterboard prisoners again. That's weird. Usually prisoners are ridden by other prisoners.
An online jobs index is at the highest level since 2008. That is, the highest level of people looking for a job.
A study says the most popular day to watch Internet porn is Sunday. Which is strange, because aren't people supposed to go to church and be holy on Sundays?
A study says that American teenagers are drinking less soda, but still not exercising. The study is called, "Being too lazy to go to the fridge".
A study shows that to get rid of fat, people should avoid eating before working out. Well, I like to call that, "Less calories to burn".
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
Congress took a 10-day break without funding summer youth programs, just as school is letting out for the summer. Or, as Congress calls it, "business as usual".
The federal government sent BP a bill for $69 million for costs they incurred in cleaning up the Gulf oil spill. Getting paid $69 million for something unsuccessful? BP could play for the New York Mets.
The new film “Eat Pray Love” has been given an MPAA rating of PG-13, a downgrade from the R it originally received. Eat Pray Love? That sounds like what Tiger Woods' memoir would be if he was fat.
Many people inside baseball are labeling umpire Jim Joyce’s botched final out call that cost a Detroit pitcher a perfect game “the worst call in the history of baseball”. Besides, of course, letting Jim Joyce umpire that game.
A Waffle House employee has survived without serious injury after three teens took off without paying and he clung to the hood of their car. Because if you can survive working at Waffle House, you can survive anything.
A new report shows one in five high school students have taken a prescription drug that they didn't get from a doctor. The other four can't afford to see a doctor.
Gary Coleman's parents are seeking custody of his remains. In fact, they have already picked out the water bottle that they will store them in.
The toxic metal cadmium was discovered in a McDonald’s drinking glass. One thing's for sure: it's less toxic than the McDonald's soft drinks themselves.
President Bush says that he would waterboard prisoners again. That's weird. Usually prisoners are ridden by other prisoners.
An online jobs index is at the highest level since 2008. That is, the highest level of people looking for a job.
A study says the most popular day to watch Internet porn is Sunday. Which is strange, because aren't people supposed to go to church and be holy on Sundays?
A study says that American teenagers are drinking less soda, but still not exercising. The study is called, "Being too lazy to go to the fridge".
A study shows that to get rid of fat, people should avoid eating before working out. Well, I like to call that, "Less calories to burn".
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
Monday, February 8, 2010
"International Flirting Week"
Hello everyone! Here are my jokes for today, February 8th.
The Saints defeated the Colts in Super Bowl XLIV by a score of 31-17. By force of habit, the Lombardi trophy put on an 'Aints paper bag.
Government owned GMAC lost $5 Billion in the 4th quarter. The loss is largely due to the fact that their name starts with GM.
Golfer Phil Mickelson's bid to buy 105 Nashville area Waffle Houses for $20 Million was turned down. Apparently Mickelson isn't their type.
A judge threatened to handcuff a former John Edwards aide if he did not turn over the former senator’s sex tape. Either way, John's favorite fantasy is going to be played out.
Monday is the first day of International Flirting Week. Or, in Mark Sanford's case, "Flirting International".
Many government employees get Monday off in honor of Abe Lincoln's birthday. Wait, since when does the government have on-days?
A 3-year old with a prosthetic leg has donated it to Haiti. Ironically, the three year old will be rewarded with breakfast at IHOP.
There is a new Brett Favre Wrangler Jeans commercial for the Super Bowl. In it, Favre says that he is comfortable in Wrangler, yet completely uncomfortable in the pocket.
Former child television star Gary Coleman is scheduled for appearance in a Utah court. I am positive he's going to be in the court that day, but I still wonder if he'll appear.
-How did "The Who" come up with their name?
-Their guitarist's hearing aid broke while someone was making a suggestion, and he said, "Wait, the who?"
A new study suggests that beer may be good for your bones. And if you drink enough, your b***r.
Well, that's it for now. More to come tomorrow!
The Saints defeated the Colts in Super Bowl XLIV by a score of 31-17. By force of habit, the Lombardi trophy put on an 'Aints paper bag.
Government owned GMAC lost $5 Billion in the 4th quarter. The loss is largely due to the fact that their name starts with GM.
Golfer Phil Mickelson's bid to buy 105 Nashville area Waffle Houses for $20 Million was turned down. Apparently Mickelson isn't their type.
A judge threatened to handcuff a former John Edwards aide if he did not turn over the former senator’s sex tape. Either way, John's favorite fantasy is going to be played out.
Monday is the first day of International Flirting Week. Or, in Mark Sanford's case, "Flirting International".
Many government employees get Monday off in honor of Abe Lincoln's birthday. Wait, since when does the government have on-days?
A 3-year old with a prosthetic leg has donated it to Haiti. Ironically, the three year old will be rewarded with breakfast at IHOP.
There is a new Brett Favre Wrangler Jeans commercial for the Super Bowl. In it, Favre says that he is comfortable in Wrangler, yet completely uncomfortable in the pocket.
Former child television star Gary Coleman is scheduled for appearance in a Utah court. I am positive he's going to be in the court that day, but I still wonder if he'll appear.
-How did "The Who" come up with their name?
-Their guitarist's hearing aid broke while someone was making a suggestion, and he said, "Wait, the who?"
A new study suggests that beer may be good for your bones. And if you drink enough, your b***r.
Well, that's it for now. More to come tomorrow!
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