"Taking Up Pigeon Racing"

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. It's a day that Irish people celebrate that includes binge drinking and not going to work. Or, as Conan O' Brien calls it, any other day.

The world’s smallest man at 2’5” has died in Italy at age 21. His body will lie in state in a shoebox.

The FBI is using Facebook to communicate with criminal suspects. They also use Myspace, but those are specifically for the pedophiles.

A study says that for a happier romance, be yourself. This study does not apply to Rush Limbaugh.

The CEO of The Tribune Company has banned broadcasters from using cliches on Chicago-based WGN-AM. The most used cliche on that station: Cubs lose.

A study says that workers are looking for jobs they can stay at for their entire career. Hollywood has even made a movie about this study. It's called Mission: Impossible.

Mike Tyson is taking up pigeon racing for a show on Animal Planet. Consider this a waste of time. That's like Congress taking up bipartisanship.

Singer/actress Miley Cyrus is planning to take a hiatus from her music career. And I thought ten year old girls were crying nonstop before...

Singer/actress Miley Cyrus is planning to take a hiatus from her music career. She made a huge impact on the music industry. She made everyone else sound really good.

A Michigan man says he was fired from his Walmart job for using medical marijuana. This just goes to show: When you work at Walmart, don't steal the manager's belongings.

Detroit will close 44 public schools and a support building in June as the district addresses budget issues. The Big Three automakers have filed a copyright claim.

Ozzie Guillen has created a new style of play he calls "Ozzie Ball" which relies on pitching, defense and running. As in, pitching a quote full of swears, defending what he said, and running away from cops who try to arrest him.

The French military will no longer be issuing rifles to their infantry. I agree with this move. Giving the French rifles is like giving baseball bats to the Washington Nationals.

That's it for today, everyone! Thanks for all your support!

"Negotiating A Blockbuster Deal"

There are reports that the St. Louis Rams and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are negotiating a blockbuster deal. That is, Tampa Bay trades their starting quarterback for a Blockbuster gift card.

A man who is only 22 inches (56 centimeters) tall left his home country of Nepal on Sunday in a quest to be recognized as the world's shortest man. It's not a matter of whether he'll be recognized, I think he has to be seen.

A governor who once led national Democrats say President Barack Obama's White House needs to change its political strategy. Oh NOW this guy speaks up.

For tech-savvy singles who are unlucky in love, Twitter has come up with a new dating site to make those singles even more unlucky.

Tiger Woods said in his apology yesterday, "I'm sorry for everything that I have done." Everything? More like "Everyone"...

This obesity epidemic is getting out of hand. It's so bad that even fat people are too lazy to drive to McDonalds.

Many experts are saying that "The Biggest Loser" pushes contestants too hard. I agree. It's hard enough for them to get off the couch to make microwave burritos, now they have to exercise?

I wonder what police officers do if they find marijuana in someone's pocket. It would either be classified as evidence of why the guy should be arrested or why they eat so many donuts.

Free-agent slugger Carlos Delgado is expected to be sidelined for four months after undergoing hip surgery in Colorado. I think he's old enough to be having hip replacement surgery now.

The hit squad that killed a senior Hamas official in Dubai may have entered the country using diplomatic passports. It's also the first time that Dubai has had anything diplomatic.

That's it for now! More tomorrow!