The L.A. TV reporter who broke down into gibberish on air at the Grammys was suffering a migraine headache. She must have heard Justin Bieber's performance.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says that President Obama can’t spell his own name. Speaking of Presidents who can't spell their own name, President Bush is doing great.
A gang attacked a 21 year old man in Ireland and forced him to eat his own ear. His new nickname is "Beethoven".
A German study says there are toxic ingredients in tattoo ink. In an unrelated story, Dennis Rodman has been admitted to the hospital.
Researchers at UCLA have reportedly found the cure for baldness. It's called a wig.
A new study says that people who smoke and have head and neck cancers are more likely to have more health problems than people who don't. Because if I have cancer, the first thing I want to do is smoke.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Baldness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baldness. Show all posts
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
"The Season Premiere"
Elizabeth Edwards’ will does not mention her estranged husband, former presidential candidate John Edwards. However, she did mention that she wants John to have one thing of hers: her cancer.
The House spent its second day in session reading the Constitution aloud. Why was that necessary? Half the people in Congress were there when it was written.
During the reading of the Constitution, House members skipped the 18th Amendment, the prohibition of alcohol. However, when they read the 21st amendment that repealed it, Congress said, "It repealed what amendment?".
Researchers found a chemical signal in women’s tears that turns men off. The chemical signal is called "body fat".
On this date in 1927, the Harlem Globetrotters played their first game. Back in the early 1920's, the Harlem Globetrotters were white guys who happened to be really good at basketball. Nowadays, we call them Duke.
Khloé Kardashian has dyed her hair red. Yes, because it's her hair that sticks out and catches everybody's attention.
Yesterday was the season premiere of Jersey Shore. A new orange douche has arisen. Their name: John Boehner.
Dick Cheney is facing the possibility of needing a heart transplant. What? Dick Cheney had a heart in the first place?
A study says that bald men still have invisible hair. At least, that's what they want you to think.
Internet accessible ovens and washing machines will soon be available. This is perfect for the person that thinks a laptop is too inconvenient.
Tiger Woods was dropped from the cover of his own video golf game. Also dropped from the game: his mistresses as unlockable characters.
The obesity epidemic has spurred a demand for oversize caskets. Not only that, but the average number of pallbearers per funeral has doubled.
A study says that facial bones change as people age. Aren't those called "wrinkles".
The world’s most destructive beetle was discovered in Los Angeles. That's like being named the tallest of the Seven Dwarfs.
The golden voiced homeless man, Ted Williams, now has a job with the Cleveland Cavaliers. It would be really ironic if he got a job with the Boston Red Sox.
Democratic Representative Lynn Woolsey from California says the war in Afghanistan is an “epic failure, national embarrassment and moral blight”. You know, like Lindsay Lohan.
A strip club is about to open at DFW airport in Dallas. What? Is the TSA not enough?
That's all for right now! More later!
The House spent its second day in session reading the Constitution aloud. Why was that necessary? Half the people in Congress were there when it was written.
During the reading of the Constitution, House members skipped the 18th Amendment, the prohibition of alcohol. However, when they read the 21st amendment that repealed it, Congress said, "It repealed what amendment?".
Researchers found a chemical signal in women’s tears that turns men off. The chemical signal is called "body fat".
On this date in 1927, the Harlem Globetrotters played their first game. Back in the early 1920's, the Harlem Globetrotters were white guys who happened to be really good at basketball. Nowadays, we call them Duke.
Khloé Kardashian has dyed her hair red. Yes, because it's her hair that sticks out and catches everybody's attention.
Yesterday was the season premiere of Jersey Shore. A new orange douche has arisen. Their name: John Boehner.
Dick Cheney is facing the possibility of needing a heart transplant. What? Dick Cheney had a heart in the first place?
A study says that bald men still have invisible hair. At least, that's what they want you to think.
Internet accessible ovens and washing machines will soon be available. This is perfect for the person that thinks a laptop is too inconvenient.
Tiger Woods was dropped from the cover of his own video golf game. Also dropped from the game: his mistresses as unlockable characters.
The obesity epidemic has spurred a demand for oversize caskets. Not only that, but the average number of pallbearers per funeral has doubled.
A study says that facial bones change as people age. Aren't those called "wrinkles".
The world’s most destructive beetle was discovered in Los Angeles. That's like being named the tallest of the Seven Dwarfs.
The golden voiced homeless man, Ted Williams, now has a job with the Cleveland Cavaliers. It would be really ironic if he got a job with the Boston Red Sox.
Democratic Representative Lynn Woolsey from California says the war in Afghanistan is an “epic failure, national embarrassment and moral blight”. You know, like Lindsay Lohan.
A strip club is about to open at DFW airport in Dallas. What? Is the TSA not enough?
That's all for right now! More later!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
"An Outdoor Worship Area"
Hello everybody! These are my jokes for today!
The Super Bowl is this Sunday. Super Bowl Sunday is the one day every year where people around the country say, "Shut up, the commercials are on".
An experimental abstinence-only program without a moralistic tone can delay teens from having sex, a provocative study found. It was a sex tape of John Edwards and his mistress.
The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation will donate $10 billion over the next decade to research new vaccines and bring them to the world's poorest countries. Yes, the world's poorest countries that don't really mind a vaccine that crashes.
Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning, meaning that there will be six more weeks of winter. Phil will spend those six weeks trying to spell Punxsutawney.
Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning. Most Americans know that means six weeks of winter, but Jessica Simpson thought that meant he forgot to shave.
An Oklahoma restaurant is giving discounts to people who are bald. This means that these people are more likely to find pieces of hair in their food.
The Air Force Academy has set aside an outdoor worship area for Pagans, Wiccans, Druids and other Earth-centered believers, school officials said Monday. The worshipers have asked that the area be moved to the woods.
Shocking news out of the military today, where the gays have asked that "Don't ask, don't tell" be changed to "Don't ask, but let's talk it out".
A study says that heart disease will kill 400,000 Americans this year. The people who don't fall under the 400,000 don't work at a fast food restaurant.
A new web site allows people to find out what others really think of them. The website: www.simoncowellevaluatesyou.com
CBS has rejected a Super Bowl ad from EA Video Games that tells people to "Go to hell". The commercial would have told you to go to hell, and right after that, the Saints come back on.
Well, that's it everybody! Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it!
The Super Bowl is this Sunday. Super Bowl Sunday is the one day every year where people around the country say, "Shut up, the commercials are on".
An experimental abstinence-only program without a moralistic tone can delay teens from having sex, a provocative study found. It was a sex tape of John Edwards and his mistress.
The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation will donate $10 billion over the next decade to research new vaccines and bring them to the world's poorest countries. Yes, the world's poorest countries that don't really mind a vaccine that crashes.
Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning, meaning that there will be six more weeks of winter. Phil will spend those six weeks trying to spell Punxsutawney.
Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning. Most Americans know that means six weeks of winter, but Jessica Simpson thought that meant he forgot to shave.
An Oklahoma restaurant is giving discounts to people who are bald. This means that these people are more likely to find pieces of hair in their food.
The Air Force Academy has set aside an outdoor worship area for Pagans, Wiccans, Druids and other Earth-centered believers, school officials said Monday. The worshipers have asked that the area be moved to the woods.
Shocking news out of the military today, where the gays have asked that "Don't ask, don't tell" be changed to "Don't ask, but let's talk it out".
A study says that heart disease will kill 400,000 Americans this year. The people who don't fall under the 400,000 don't work at a fast food restaurant.
A new web site allows people to find out what others really think of them. The website: www.simoncowellevaluatesyou.com
CBS has rejected a Super Bowl ad from EA Video Games that tells people to "Go to hell". The commercial would have told you to go to hell, and right after that, the Saints come back on.
Well, that's it everybody! Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it!
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