"An Outdoor Worship Area"

Hello everybody! These are my jokes for today!

The Super Bowl is this Sunday. Super Bowl Sunday is the one day every year where people around the country say, "Shut up, the commercials are on".

An experimental abstinence-only program without a moralistic tone can delay teens from having sex, a provocative study found. It was a sex tape of John Edwards and his mistress.

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation will donate $10 billion over the next decade to research new vaccines and bring them to the world's poorest countries. Yes, the world's poorest countries that don't really mind a vaccine that crashes.

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning, meaning that there will be six more weeks of winter. Phil will spend those six weeks trying to spell Punxsutawney.

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning. Most Americans know that means six weeks of winter, but Jessica Simpson thought that meant he forgot to shave.

An Oklahoma restaurant is giving discounts to people who are bald. This means that these people are more likely to find pieces of hair in their food.

The Air Force Academy has set aside an outdoor worship area for Pagans, Wiccans, Druids and other Earth-centered believers, school officials said Monday. The worshipers have asked that the area be moved to the woods.

Shocking news out of the military today, where the gays have asked that "Don't ask, don't tell" be changed to "Don't ask, but let's talk it out".

A study says that heart disease will kill 400,000 Americans this year. The people who don't fall under the 400,000 don't work at a fast food restaurant.

A new web site allows people to find out what others really think of them. The website: www.simoncowellevaluatesyou.com

CBS has rejected a Super Bowl ad from EA Video Games that tells people to "Go to hell". The commercial would have told you to go to hell, and right after that, the Saints come back on.

Well, that's it everybody! Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it!