“The Hangover” star Bradley Cooper will star in a film version of the poem “Paradise Lost”. He will play Marc Anthony in the JLo divorce.
The big heat wave is scheduled to move east. The Mets are ecstatic. This is their first experience with being hot in over 40 years.
Some hotels in London now have “snore monitors” who pound on your door to wake you up if you’re snoring too loudly. They are known everywhere as "spouses".
Tiger Woods fired his long-time caddie Steve Williams. God, his wife, and now his caddie. His relationships are coming apart faster than his mistresses' legs.
Al Qaeda is reportedly planning a cartoon recruiting film for children. Don't they already have a cartoon about an aggressive animal that always fails and dies? It calls Wile E. Coyote.
Ben Affleck reportedly advised Jennifer Lopez on her crumbling marriage. You know you suck when Ben Affleck is giving you advice.
A Kansas man set the record for the largest tonsils ever. And you thought Paris Hilton was known for a deep throat...
A study says that people who take antidepressant medications are more likely to suffer a relapse of major depression than those who don’t. Talk about defeating the purpose.
Naked German sunbathers who used to flock to Baltic beaches are dwindling, because of a shrinking population. And looking at the German sunbathers, the population isn't the only thing that's shrinking.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Ben Affleck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ben Affleck. Show all posts
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, November 29, 2010
"The Next Release"
While playing basketball, President Obama was hit in the mouth with an elbow. The last time somebody was hit in the mouth at the White House, Joe Biden was giving a speech.
A Russian scientist has recreated the Ice Age in Northern Siberia. In fact, it's almost as cold as the Cincinnati Bengals offense.
A 54-year-old Escondido, CA man pleaded not guilty to charges he had a bomb-making factory in his house. And now, the only bomb making factory in California is Ben Affleck's movie studio.
The Miami Heat held a players-only meeting. The meeting included Heat players LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, some other guy, what's his face, so-and-so...
Brett Favre has a sinus infection. Favre became sick after watching his own highlight reel.
Willie Nelson was busted for possession of marijuana in Texas. You know that saying, "History always repeats itself"...
New York City regulators want to update the dress code for cabbies. They are now making it mandatory for cab drivers to do laundry at least once a month.
A push is on for a Civil Rights Museum in Mississippi. That's like a Holocaust survivors' museum next to Mel Gibson's house.
England had its most widespread snowfall since 1993 last week. In fact, it snowed so much, England was more white than Star Wars conventions.
MTV says it will fight a lawsuit by a writer who claims to have come up with the idea for “Jersey Shore”. Here's my idea of Jersey Shore: it's exactly like the Jerry Springer Show, but with people who care about how they look.
The Obama Administration is telling Wikileaks that the next release of documents could put countless lives at risk, threaten counter-terrorism operations and jeopardize relations with other countries. Who knew it could get any worse?
A former Miss Universe from Venezuela was ridiculed after posting a statement on Twitter confusing Korea with China. The tweet: those Korean kids did a good job making my car.
The Irish Government has unveiled a harsh budget to slash deficits and keep the country from going bankrupt. In fact, people from Ireland are now limited to a six-pack of beer every day.
Derek Jeter is reportedly asking the Yankees for a contract offer worth $25 million per year. At that price, I would rather have Michael Vick as my petsitter.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
A Russian scientist has recreated the Ice Age in Northern Siberia. In fact, it's almost as cold as the Cincinnati Bengals offense.
A 54-year-old Escondido, CA man pleaded not guilty to charges he had a bomb-making factory in his house. And now, the only bomb making factory in California is Ben Affleck's movie studio.
The Miami Heat held a players-only meeting. The meeting included Heat players LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, some other guy, what's his face, so-and-so...
Brett Favre has a sinus infection. Favre became sick after watching his own highlight reel.
Willie Nelson was busted for possession of marijuana in Texas. You know that saying, "History always repeats itself"...
New York City regulators want to update the dress code for cabbies. They are now making it mandatory for cab drivers to do laundry at least once a month.
A push is on for a Civil Rights Museum in Mississippi. That's like a Holocaust survivors' museum next to Mel Gibson's house.
England had its most widespread snowfall since 1993 last week. In fact, it snowed so much, England was more white than Star Wars conventions.
MTV says it will fight a lawsuit by a writer who claims to have come up with the idea for “Jersey Shore”. Here's my idea of Jersey Shore: it's exactly like the Jerry Springer Show, but with people who care about how they look.
The Obama Administration is telling Wikileaks that the next release of documents could put countless lives at risk, threaten counter-terrorism operations and jeopardize relations with other countries. Who knew it could get any worse?
A former Miss Universe from Venezuela was ridiculed after posting a statement on Twitter confusing Korea with China. The tweet: those Korean kids did a good job making my car.
The Irish Government has unveiled a harsh budget to slash deficits and keep the country from going bankrupt. In fact, people from Ireland are now limited to a six-pack of beer every day.
Derek Jeter is reportedly asking the Yankees for a contract offer worth $25 million per year. At that price, I would rather have Michael Vick as my petsitter.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
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