Joke of the Day: A study says that 40% of all teenagers have had sex at least once. The other 60% of teenagers are too busy texting to have sex.
California may ban plastic bags from grocery stores. That's because California is running out of plastic for all the plastic surgery that everyone gets.
May brought lower ratings for Larry King at CNN. This adds to the extensive list of things that have been lower for Larry King.
Ken Griffey, Jr. is retiring from baseball after a 22 year career. Now, it's okay for him to nap during games.
Actress Kristen Stewart says that fame is like being raped. You enjoy it at first, but in the end, you end up getting screwed and pregnant with illegitimate children.
President Obama says reliance on fossil fuels must end. He's saying this because BP is pouring all of them into the Gulf of Mexico.
Biologists say the Gulf oil spill won’t wipe out shrimp in the Gulf. If the shrimp die due to ingesting oil, they'd be perfect for Joe's Crab Shack.
A French man with no arms or legs will attempt to swim across the English Channel. Key word: attempt.
A survey says that talk therapy works as well as taking anti-depressants. In other words, neither one works at all.
A study says that nighttime urination is linked to a higher death risk. That's because people who do this are "older".
Mark McGwire’s wife has given birth to triplets. I thought steroids made McGwire's you-know-what smaller.
While cutting away a piece of the pipe on the Gulf floor, BP’s diamond-tipped saw blade became stuck. How about we work on getting the oil stuck?
That's all for now! More tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Mark McGwire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mark McGwire. Show all posts
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
"The Mark McGwire Highway"
Fox is leading all other networks with indecency complaints to the FCC. Sadly, it only took Family Guy to put them at the top.
The Missouri State Senate has voted to change the name of the Mark McGwire Highway. I guess Missouri wants a highway that can take them to Cooperstown, New York.
The main runway at JFK Airport in New York will be shut down for the next four months. Northwest Airlines will probably not notice a difference.
A survey says that 26% of Americans get their news over the phone. While driving.
The suit that OJ Simpson was wearing the day he was acquitted of murder will be donated to the Smithsonian Museum. That's a terrible idea. Remember what happened the last time something of OJ's was memorabilia?
Laura Bush will release her autobiography in early May. This has concerned former President Bush. He still doesn't know who wrote it.
Happy Birthday wishes to former Soviet political leader Mikhail Gorbachev, who turns 79 years old on Tuesday. When the cake was in front of him, he made a wish and blew out the Berlin Wall.
80-year old Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin will be a contestant this season on Dancing With The Stars. After all, who better to be a contestant on Dancing With The Stars than an astronaut who has literally danced with the stars?
More states are looking to ban credit checks on job applicants. I've got ten bucks saying that all those states still can't say "Free Triple Score" three times fast.
Americans' reliance on the government is at an all-time high. This is really hard to believe, especially considering the fact that our government is at an all-time low.
The massive 8.8 earthquake that struck Chile may have changed the entire Earth's rotation and shortened the length of days on our planet, a NASA scientist said Monday. However, that statistic was canceled out when all those newscasts about the earthquake took forever.
People who say their lives have a purpose are less likely to develop Alzheimer's disease, a new study suggests. Look on the bright side. If you don't have a purposeful life, Alzheimer's will help people forget it all.
New research says that New York's poorest citizens are becoming more obese. That's because they can only afford to live off the McDonald's Dollar Menu.
Tiger Woods is back home after a week of family counseling in Arizona and is trying to get back into a routine that includes fitness and his first significant practice in 15 weeks. He also plans to get his golf game back to the way it was before.
General Motors announced a recall of 1.3 million vehicles due to failing power steering motors. In an unrelated story, Toyota has interest in merging with GM.
That's it for right now! Thanks for the support, and I look to improve tomorrow!
The Missouri State Senate has voted to change the name of the Mark McGwire Highway. I guess Missouri wants a highway that can take them to Cooperstown, New York.
The main runway at JFK Airport in New York will be shut down for the next four months. Northwest Airlines will probably not notice a difference.
A survey says that 26% of Americans get their news over the phone. While driving.
The suit that OJ Simpson was wearing the day he was acquitted of murder will be donated to the Smithsonian Museum. That's a terrible idea. Remember what happened the last time something of OJ's was memorabilia?
Laura Bush will release her autobiography in early May. This has concerned former President Bush. He still doesn't know who wrote it.
Happy Birthday wishes to former Soviet political leader Mikhail Gorbachev, who turns 79 years old on Tuesday. When the cake was in front of him, he made a wish and blew out the Berlin Wall.
80-year old Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin will be a contestant this season on Dancing With The Stars. After all, who better to be a contestant on Dancing With The Stars than an astronaut who has literally danced with the stars?
More states are looking to ban credit checks on job applicants. I've got ten bucks saying that all those states still can't say "Free Triple Score" three times fast.
Americans' reliance on the government is at an all-time high. This is really hard to believe, especially considering the fact that our government is at an all-time low.
The massive 8.8 earthquake that struck Chile may have changed the entire Earth's rotation and shortened the length of days on our planet, a NASA scientist said Monday. However, that statistic was canceled out when all those newscasts about the earthquake took forever.
People who say their lives have a purpose are less likely to develop Alzheimer's disease, a new study suggests. Look on the bright side. If you don't have a purposeful life, Alzheimer's will help people forget it all.
New research says that New York's poorest citizens are becoming more obese. That's because they can only afford to live off the McDonald's Dollar Menu.
Tiger Woods is back home after a week of family counseling in Arizona and is trying to get back into a routine that includes fitness and his first significant practice in 15 weeks. He also plans to get his golf game back to the way it was before.
General Motors announced a recall of 1.3 million vehicles due to failing power steering motors. In an unrelated story, Toyota has interest in merging with GM.
That's it for right now! Thanks for the support, and I look to improve tomorrow!
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