Joke of the Day: Tiger Woods played the last 15 holes in 7-under and reverted to his fist-pumping ways as he poured in putts from seemingly everywhere. No news story screams "That's what she said" louder than this one.
British Petroleum handed the job of repairing its image off to an American in hopes that US citizens will be able to better relate. They won't do anything, and when they do, they are unsuccessful. They couldn't relate to Americans any better.
Scientists believe imported Australian honeybees may be responsible to the declining numbers of bees in this country. Isn't it a little redundant when bringing more bees in the country actually brings their population down?
In New York, a door-to-door vacuum salesman was charged with damaging a homeowner’s $1,300 bed mattress. The salesman will be sued for the price of the mattress, also known as his life savings.
In northeastern Pennsylvania, rattlesnake rustlers are rounding up snakes for a big annual carnival. It's no big deal. It's nothing but a bunch of insurance companies with booths.
Actress Angelina Jolie has quietly returned to Haiti for meetings with Haitian and U.N. officials. Haitians were skeptical until they saw Jolie with a large stack of adoption papers.
A wildfire in Arizona forced hundreds to evacuate. In response, Arizona said, "Wait, by hundreds, please tell me you mean hundreds of Mexicans.".
That's all for right now! More later!
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