"Chosen By Their Fans"

Sarah Palin is visiting sites of historical significance. In other words, she won't be going to her house for awhile.

The used car salesman who sold cars to Ohio St. quarterback Terrelle Pryor swears the athlete did not get special deals. Just think; why would a used car salesman ever lie to you?

A Zimbabwe policeman was arrested for using the personal toilet of President Robert Mugabe. Apparently the shit missed the toilet, and hit the fan.

Researchers say allergy medicine could be making people fat. These researchers obviously know that I have a prescription for Zyrtec.

The Kardashian sisters are working on a novel, with the name getting to be chosen by their fans. The leading candidate: Crayons Sold Separately.

A new drug that treats premature ejaculation is showing promise in testing. Unfortunately, they weren't supposed to tell us that for another two weeks.

A study says that kids with bad asthma are more likely to have food allergies than kids who don't. For example, most kids with asthma have a severe allergy to vegetables.

Snooki from “Jersey Shore” lost her license when she hit a police car in Italy. That's a change. Snooki ramming someone else?

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently rode in a helicopter to his son's baseball game. Man, that must be one exhausted helicopter.

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!