"Signature Phrases"

A New York congressman received a bloody pig’s foot in the mail. Nobody does that. No, I'm not talking about sending a bloody pig's foot. I'm talking about the fact that nobody checks their mail anymore.

Katie Couric is reportedly leaving the anchor’s chair of the CBS Nightly News. It's the first time any CBS employee has been able to leave a chair in ten years.

Researchers say the brain of a food addict reacts the same way anticipating a milkshake as a drug addict’s brain anticipates drugs. They are also the only things that get fat people and druggies off the couch.

Bristol Palin was paid $262,000 in 2009 for her work in discouraging teen pregnancy and encouraging abstinence. This is a classic case of "practice what you preach" gone completely wrong.

Charlie Sheen has applied to trademark twenty-two of the signature phrases for which he’s become known. Not among them: "It burns when I pee".

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!