"Lost An Eye"

A UK hospital is treating a three year old for alcoholism. Hey Bieber, quit the partying.

A renovated train station in Delaware is being named after Vice President Joe Biden. Because if I want to go to any train station, it's the one named after a train wreck.

The U.S. has passed France as the biggest wine consuming nation. When he heard about this, Charlie Sheen said, "You're welcome".

Joan Rivers and Howard Stern are coming to the defense of Gilbert Gottfried, who was fired as spokesman for Aflac after sending inappropriate messages on Twitter. Because when you need to count on two people that know what to say and when, those people are Joan Rivers and Howard Stern.

Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco is going to try out for an MLS soccer team. He shouldn't be a goalie, mainly because balls that comes near him goes right through his hands.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who is 74 years old, said that he is too old to have had all the sexual encounters he is accused of having by Italian prosecutors. In response, 84-year old Hugh Hefner said, "Ok, what's your next excuse?".

Atlanta Braves minor league manager Luis Salazar has lost an eye after he was struck in the face by a line drive. Considering the bandages he might need, wouldn't he be a good coach for the Pirates?

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!