"Nude Photos"

President Obama’s approval rating in California has dropped to a record low. You know something's up when drug abusers don't like a black guy.

The FBI is investigating the release of nude photos allegedly hacked from the cell phone of actress Scarlett Johansson. It's Scarlett Johansonn; how is this a crime?

SAT scores for the class of 2011 are the lowest on record. You're welcome.

Kirstie Alley says she has lost 100 pounds. She found it a day later.

Drug cartels in Mexico are killing people who denounce them on social media. I think the new dislike button is the trigger on a revolver.

Michael Jackson has reportedly made $310 Million since his death. I wonder how he's going to spend the money.

Scientists say that laughter makes us feel good because it emits endorphins. Of course, people who read my jokes have no idea what that feels like.

Nicolas Cage says he was the victim of an incident several years ago where a naked man wearing a leather jacket was standing over his bed eating a fudgesicle. This is what most people refer to as "a hallucination".

A study says that body odor could be a product of a person’s genes. This can only mean one thing: my dad was a hobo.

That's all I have for today! I'm staying after all. Anyway, more tomorrow!