"Funnier Than Women"

Joe Biden implied to a CNN reporter that he might make a run for the White House in 2016. Even Jill is saying, "No. Not gonna happen."

A study says that men are funnier than women. Apparently I wasn't included in the study.

Three new books say that the world is becoming less violent. All three books were written by men who live under a rock.

Bernard Madoff says in a letter that he feels safer in prison than in New York City. I mean it's a place full of assraping and scary men who want to kill you. And prison is frightening, too.

Doctors say an unrelenting sex drive is a symptom of rabies. That's why my dog is always humping everything.

The movie "Like Crazy" was shot without a script. A movie without a script; isn't that called a documentary?

A Detroit restaurant is offering a 338 pound hamburger for $2,000. So if you're fat and have a lot of money, this deal is for you. (That means you, Kirstie.)

The Indianapolis Colts lost to the New Orleans Saints 62-7 yesterday. That was such a collapse on Indianapolis' part, I thought Sugarland would've played the halftime show.

Justin Bieber is going to play at the American Music Awards. Just what the American Music Awards need: a Canadian.

A new study says that most children of illegal immigrants in L.A. don’t graduate high school. To be fair, who needs a high school diploma to use a Windex bottle?

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!