"Portable Toilets"

An analysis says that there are more cellphones than people in the U.S. And the crazy part: almost one quarter of them are able to make calls.

A study says that risk of cancer from tanning beds is greater than once thought. Let's hope this is true for the cast of Jersey Shore.

Environmentalists say they want to put portable toilets at the top of Mt. Everest. Great, frozen shit. It's like a bucket full of Lean Cuisine meals.

Police say a couple in Kentucky shoplifted at a Wal-Mart, leaving their kids behind. This marks a whole new level of white trash.

Whitney Houston apparently threw a fit on a plane when she was told to buckle her seat belt. She was screaming hideously for ten minutes, but authorities soon figured out that she was singing.

Google has passed the 40 million mark for customers signing up on Google+. And of those 40 million, five are relevant to the world.

A Kansas City bishop has been charged with not reporting child porn on his computer to police. Police confiscated the computer, and were stunned by the amount of saliva on the screen.

Chaz Bono has starred in an anti-bullying PSA. And who better to tell people to stop bullying than a giant he-she named Chaz?

There is a YouTube video of a baby that thinks a magazine is an iPad that does not work. And they say Americans are getting dumber.

That's all I have for today! More coming soon!